04 OF 06 SPECIALTIES
Perfectionism & overthinking.
Therapy for the ones who look like they have it together. Telehealth across New York State.
01 WHAT IT ACTUALLY LOOKS LIKE
Perfectionism isn't about high standards.It's about what happens when you don't meet them.
You check the email four times before sending it. You replay conversations for hours. You redo work that was already fine because some invisible standard in your head says it wasn't.
From the outside, you look like you have it together — high-achieving, reliable, the one people count on. But inside there's a constant hum of anxiety. A running list of everything you could be doing better. The fear that if you slow down or drop a ball, people will finally see what you've suspected all along — that you're not actually good enough.
And the worst part? You hit the goal, and the goalpost moves. The promotion, the degree, the apartment, the weight — none of it quiets the voice.
Most people who come to me for this don't say “perfectionism” first. They say things like:
- “I’ll spend four hours on an email that should take ten minutes.”
- “I can’t start anything unless I’m sure I can do it right.”
- “I got the promotion and within a week I was already stressed about the next thing.”
- “Everyone thinks I’m crushing it. I feel like I’m one mistake away from being exposed.”
- “I can’t sit on the couch without a list in my head of everything I should be doing.”
- “I replayed a two-minute interaction from the meeting for three days straight.”
Some of this is perfectionism. Some of it is adjacent — imposter syndrome, chronic self-monitoring, the kind of overthinking your nervous system taught itself a long time ago. We figure out which is which. Then we figure out what's underneath.
And then there's the NYC of it. Everyone around you looks like they're winning. The career, the relationship, the apartment, the version of themselves on Instagram. The pressure to keep up is constant — and New York is very good at making you feel like you're already behind.
02 WHY WHAT YOU'VE TRIED ISN'T WORKING
The overthinking isn't a glitch.It's a strategy that's running out of rope.
You've probably tried the things — the productivity systems, the “done is better than perfect” reminders, the meditation app, the self-compassion books. Maybe a previous round of therapy gave you some language for it but didn't actually change what happens in your body when you're about to turn something in.
None of that is wrong. It just doesn't reach the root: overthinking isn't a character flaw or a bad habit. Your brain learned early that if you could just anticipate every outcome, control every variable, and never make a mistake, you'd be safe. Maybe it was a critical parent. An unpredictable home. A school environment where your worth was tied to performance. The overthinking kept you safe then. It's keeping you stuck now.
“You don't need to hit rock bottom to deserve support. If something hurts, it hurts. That's reason enough.”
03 HOW WE'D ACTUALLY WORK ON THIS
Slower than your brain wants to go.
The first thing we'd do is figure out what your specific version of this is actually doing — what the voice in your head sounds like, whose voice it is, what it's been protecting you from. Not in a worksheet way. In a “let's look at what happened when you turned in that project last Tuesday” way.
From there we'd work on a few layers at once: the nervous system piece (so turning something in stops feeling like physical danger), the cognitive piece (so you can tell the difference between high standards and fear wearing a suit), and what's underneath (so your worth stops being something you have to earn back every morning).
I'm direct without being harsh, and I'll push back when the perfectionism tries to run the session too. You won't have to perform in here. You won't have to get therapy right. You'll get to be a person who's allowed to be a work in progress — which, for a lot of my clients, is something they haven't had much practice at.
04 WHAT YOU MIGHT NOTICE
“What clients tend to notice first isn't that the overthinking stops. It's that they stop needing to earn the right to rest. The goalpost still moves sometimes. But they stop chasing it.”
You might also be dealing with:
05STARTING
If this sounds like the right fit,let's talk.
The 15-minute consult is where we figure out if we're a good match. No commitment. If I'm not the right person, I'll help you find someone who is.
You send a note.
Takes a minute. Tell me what’s bringing you in, or just say “hi, I want to talk.” No intake form, no questionnaire.
We do a 15-minute call.
No cost, no commitment. We see if it’s a fit. If it’s not, I’ll help you find someone it is.
We book a first session.
Evenings and weekends available. Telehealth from anywhere in New York State.
Or email Angela@nystateofmindtherapy.com